


It’s Not Good… It’s Pretty Bad, Actually.

by NathanielCardeu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-30 23:10:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10886859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NathanielCardeu/pseuds/NathanielCardeu
Summary: Boy meets girl… Boy woos girl… Boy defends girl from angry ex-boyfriend. Girl gets rejected?





	It’s Not Good… It’s Pretty Bad, Actually.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Savva](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Savva/gifts), [ThornedHuntress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThornedHuntress/gifts), [TycheSong](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TycheSong/gifts).



> Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings are mine; they belong to JKR’s lovely squishy mind. But I steal then anyway, sort of with her blessing, as long as I put them back again when I’m done 
> 
> This… story, for wont of a better word, is the fault of three ladies (TycheSong, Savva and Thorned Huntress). You all know what you did! (and I gift it to you again, as apparently that's a thing I can do here!)
> 
> Originally posted on GE, this one was both painful (regarding the first half) and hilarious (also regarding the first half) :)  
> To abandon all of my writing sensibilities hurt, but I think the payoff was amusing enough, though grammar got thoroughly mutilated in the process... Enjoy!

I looked up from my drink, meeting the man’s eyes. The irises were dark brown, the whites very bright. I felt myself becoming warm at the thought of kissing him, even though we had only just met. He would definitely want to kiss me because I am really good looking too.

 

I was wearing my tight black leather corset that makes my breasts look really big. My jeans emphasised my nice butt and I wore long black leather boots that came up to my knees. I was smokin’ hot tonight, if I do say so myself. My hair was controlled and smooth, tied back in a long plait that tickled my back, stroking the small of my back every time I moved my head.

 

He was dressed casually in a tight black t-shirt that enhanced his bulging biceps and rippling pectorals. He was muscled in all the right places and very well put together. His jeans were black and patches covered them, bands that I had never heard of but that I suddenly wanted to hear all about, especially if his voice was as dreamy as his body.

 

“Hi,” he whispered, his voice smooth and silky, caressing my soul. He took my hand and planted a gentle kiss on the back. He smiled, his teeth white and gleaming in the dim light. I noticed his elongated canines and gave a gasp, my knickers becoming damp with my arousal: he was a vampire!

 

“Hi,” I murmured back, unable to take my beautiful eyes off of his mouth.

 

“I just wanted to tell you that you are the most beautiful woman in the world,” he mumbled to me.

 

I was totally aroused now and could think of nothing else, other than getting him to have sex with me in the corner room, behind the disco. The DJ wouldn’t mind because we were old school friends. I began to drag him over, getting hold of his collar and pulling.

 

He was surprised at my forthrightness but went along because he knew I was the best woman here and would do anything for me.

 

Suddenly there was an explosion and the wall was smashed in. Several large men walked through the cloud of dust and the leader was my ex-boyfriend! His ginger hair stuck up in the air because he hadn’t washed since we broke up. He pointed at me and screamed. “You’re mine!!! Not his!! Come back to me, please!” He cried with the strength of his emotions, tears pouring down his face.

 

“I’m not yours anymore!” I yelled back. “I’m with this wonderful man now! He will kill you if you hurt me.”

 

The handsome man smiled, wrapping me in his arms and kissing me deeply. The kiss lasted at least a minute and my ex-boyfriend was really angry about this. He was so angry he charged, all his cronies charging too!

 

The handsome man pushed me behind his back and I felt loved and safe. He ran to meet the men, battering them with his bare hands and knocking them down. Even when they tried to hit him he swayed out of the way, avoiding their attacks with ease. Soon he had beaten them all and squared off against my ex-boyfriend. Very quickly he killed him and then came back to me, kissing me again.

 

“You won’t ever have to worry about him again, you’re safe!”

 

I sighed in happiness and we had sex behind the disco as I had wanted…

 

****************

 

Ginny looked up from the pages in front of her. Sighing, she took off her reading glasses and stared at her friend, sat in the opposite chair, fidgeting nervously.

“Hermione,” she said, choosing her words carefully. Her friend’s face was lit with hope and Ginny hated herself for having to crush her spirits. “Hermione, it’s… um… it’s not good, I’m afraid.”

“You haven’t read it all yet!” the bushy haired witch said, leaning forward. “It does get better, I promise!”

“It’s just… Oh, Hermione, it’s pretty bad, actually.” As her friend slumped back, her disappointment clear, Ginny grimaced. “Look, I can see what you’re trying to do here, honestly I can. You’re the best person I know at writing factually accurate dissertations, on just about any subject you choose.”

Hermione stirred, a small smile on her face. “Thanks, Gin.”

“But you can’t write fiction for shit, I’m afraid.” The red-haired girl continued speaking over Hermione, as the older witch tried to protest. “No, listen to me. Your heroine is a complete Mary-Sue, your hero is a total Gary-Stu and the bad ex boyfriend is _clearly_ supposed to be my brother! There’s no plot, no real description, no natural progression and—worst of all, from you—no logic to it!”

“You’ve only read a bit,” Hermione groused, quietly.

“I’ve read enough, sweety. It sucks.” She flipped the manuscript closed and pushed it across her desk.

Hermione stared at the slim volume for a moment before looking at her friend, a quizzical look on her face. “What’s a Mary-Sue?”

“Mary-Sue’s and Gary-Stu’s are characters that are _too_ perfect. They can’t fail, they’re gorgeous; they have no faults, etcetera. Your leading man doesn’t even have a name and he can best several angry men, in a very short space of time.

“I couldn’t decide but was veering towards ‘Nathaniel’.” Hermione said with a smile.

“And your leading lady? Hermione maybe?” Ginny said, with a slight sneer.

“No!” Hermione said, with a blush.

Ginny grinned, realising that if she looked further into this car crash of a story, she would find that Nathaniel and Hermione lived happily ever after. _Gag me with a spoon!_

“I was thinking of changing it anyway,” Hermione said, hastily. “I quite like the name ‘Emma’ for her? Nathaniel and Emma sounds nice. Besides, he’s not completely perfect, Gin.”

“Well, there’s nothing wrong with him that I can see, other than he’s exactly what every house-witch in the world wants right now; a hunky vampire with no faults, that can make a girl wet with a glance.”

“I was thinking he could wear flip-flops…?”

Ginny stared at her friend for a long, drawn out moment. “No.”

Hermione sighed and stood, collecting her book. “Thank you for your time, Ginny.”

After her friend had left, Ginny sat back in her chair and stared at the ceiling. Being a publisher had never been so difficult. Everybody just wanted to write the next bestseller, plot be damned! After ’50 Charms a Day’ and ‘Dusk’, Ginny was desperately hoping quality would pick up soon!


End file.
